Hello all and Happy New Year. I hope you all had a great holiday. This post is a little different than my normal content but it's something I've wanted to talk about for awhile and after last week I feel that I need to.
I first started this blog nearly six years ago as an outlet during a particularly rough bout of depression. Blogging and nail art helped me turn my brain off a bit and gave me something else to focus on that was creative and fun and gave me a sense of accomplishment. I've suffered on and off with depression since my late teens. It's always sort of been the monster in the closet that pops out at the worst times possible. 2016 was one of those times. 2016 was a dumpster fire for a multitude of reasons that I'm sure we are all aware of, but for me, it was the year that my depression came roaring back with a vengeance. I'd started the year with so many goals and plans and was so excited for the future. But as the year wore on I started finding it harder and harder to just get simple things completed. I chalked it up to just being tired. It wasn't until I was well within the throes of it that I recognized it for what it was. The monster was back.
I'm writing about this not only because it's cathartic but also because I feel like I owe you all an explanation for my sporadic posting over the past twelve months. I made the conscious decision to start slow-blogging because I wanted to focus on quality over quantity but I don't feel like that is what I accomplished. I had so many great posts planned and ideas I was eager to try but the simple truth is that I simply couldn't summon the energy to do it. Depression sucks all of the energy out of you. Literally. I feel exhausted the majority of the time and when my depression is at it's worse I get excruciating migraines on top of that. Most days all of my energy is spent on just getting up and getting through my work day. I come home and get back in my pjs and climb back into bed.
Because of this I haven't been the blogger I was or want to be. I do genuinely love blogging. And there are things that I've been dreaming up for awhile that I'd really like to do. I had some cool nail art ideas planned for NYE but I had a particularly hard time over the last week and I had no energy to actually get it done. Depression is a roller coaster. There are days and even weeks where I feel great and then just like that I can feel like utter and complete crap and not leave the house or my bed all day.
But I want to start fresh this year. And I wanted to do that by being honest with all of you and thanking those of you who have stuck around. Thank you. I can't make any promises about what the blog will look like in the coming year. I've decided that instead of setting goals and then feeling shitty when I don't reach them that I will set intentions instead. My only "goals" are to focus on self-care and not being too hard on myself. I also am spending more time doing charity work because helping others is something that has always made me happy and it reminds me to face each day with gratitude no matter how crappy I feel. There are always people who are worse off and we all need to remind ourselves of that.
Sooo...now that I've been a complete Debbie Downer I want to again wish you all a happy New Year!
Get Your Free List!
Join the Valiantly Varnished community and get Your Free Nail Art Prompt List!